IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
