I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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