Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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