he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
