dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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