I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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