i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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