I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
