She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
