this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
