So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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