you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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