Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
