I showed him my bush... on skype.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
