It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
