walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
