we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
