didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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