there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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