Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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