loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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