I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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