You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
