im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
