Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
