every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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