do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
