Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
