I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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