So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
