why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
