i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
