Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
