Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Plan B is the new Plan A
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
