First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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