screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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