did you get engaged???
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My breasts were aching with rage.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
