We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
