Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
