What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
