brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
