Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
