HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
that's an acceptable place to lick
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
