i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
