I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
