These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
