i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
