How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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