But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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