His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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