Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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