I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
