It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just gargled with NyQuil
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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